“Shit idea.” - On alternating Spa with Paul Ricard
“Not bad for a number two driver.” - After winning that race at Silverstone
“I‘m happy to be called lots of things, I’m happy to have criticism about my driving and lots of stuff but I will not take criticism in that respect. It completely pisses me off to be honest.” - After there were suggestions his win in Monaco (2012) was with an illegal car.
“It was first-lap nutcase again, Grosjean.” - Choices words after Grosjean rear ended him in Japan (2012).
“The track is like a Tesco car park.” - Thoughts on the Valencian circuit.
“It’s extremely pretentious and really not my cup of tea.” - Thoughts on off-track activities during the Monaco GP
“It’s never ideal to put ourselves on the back foot by shooting ourselves in the foot with some penalties here and there. But it’s a long season, it’s a marathon and we’ll keep boxing.” - Troll Webber in cliche mode.
“Well, it’s kids, isn’t it? Kids with not enough experience, doing a good job, then they fuck it all up.” - On Vettel after he took both of out of the Japanese GP in 2007.
“We don’t get groupies, well I don’t see them, anyway. That was something that I always looked forward to and am constantly disappointed by the lack of!” - On the lack of perks he’s had.
“They make a female look low maintenance these days, mate.” - On cars…and women.
“You fucking beauty!” - After winning his first race in Germany 2009.
“Of course I can be world champion.” - Before the 2013 season started.
“Sorry mate I vomited.” Sitting up, in Fiji 2007.